Impotence, Rage, and Wine Awards July 1, 2015 – Posted in: other extraordinary endeavours, the art, the wine
And the award for most ‘I don’t get it’ goes to …. ‘the hatch’!
Wine awards are a lot like… well, I probably shouldn’t actually say how I’ve personally described wine awards for the last 12 years of my professional wine career. If you’re not easily offended, then email me direct at email@example.com and I’ll say it there, but for this sake I’ll clean up the language.
Wine awards, they’re a lottery ticket. Sometimes you win, sometimes you don’t. It’s entirely out of your control. I’ve personally been savaged with impotent rage over the results of some awards and how our wines were received versus the Muppets that did win medals. When you don’t win, it’s kind like the feeling of having a great match on Tinder, and then having her (or him, whatevs) un-match you shortly thereafter; you just have to accept that and move on. As the great Ray on Trailer Park Boys once said,
“That’s the way she goes, boys. Sometimes she goes, sometimes she doesn’t cause that’s the #*%@*&! way she goes“.
But then sometimes you do win and it’s awesome, and then wine awards are the best thing ever! So yeah, a few weeks back for those who don’t know by now, our little Frenzies that could, took home 3 medals. Meritage got a Bronze, Pinot got a Silver and the Chardy took home the Double-Gold and best under $20 Chardonnay in the country. I would pay actual money (or dip into my stash of wooden nickels) to have seen the look on judges faces when ‘Screaming Frenzy Chardonnay‘ was revealed as the winner. I’m certain there were many a person asking ‘What the hell is a Screaming Frenzy?’. Well, it’s a flock of Black Swifts, jerks. Better know a bird, okay? Our Savvy though, was shut out and in all honesty I feel that’s the best wine in the line-up so good job missing that one, judges.
Moving on to San Francisco. It’s no secret that our labels are amazing and everyone loves them. They’re eccentric, beautiful, memorable and provocative; everyone knows that. So we decided to validate that opinion and entered our wines into the prestigious ‘San Francisco Wine Awards‘ label competition. And I’m very chuffed to announce that the hatch ‘hobo series‘ itself has come on home with a resounding victory in the ‘I don’t get it‘ category*. When I got the results from the show sent back to me and we were surprisingly shut-out, I emailed the awards co-ordinator and asked if she had heard any feedback on the labels, as we feel like you all, that they’re truly incredible and unique. The answer I received was that she personally loved them, the support staff were raving about them but she heard numerous times from the judges looking at the bottles and saying ‘I don’t get it’. At first, that angered me. Then, I laughed and thought, that’s even better than some dopey award. We get them, you’ve certainly got them, and to us it’s hilarious that a bunch of elite art judges ‘didn’t get it’. Well, that’s their loss and our laughs.
Onwards and upwards. The results for the ‘Wine Align National Awards‘ should be out soon. Got the impotent part ready, now to prepare the rage.
Your chiefliest of Stewards,
* not an actual category